Age Old Question
by angst cupcake
Summary: Kiba x Shikamaru Kiba asks that age old question and goes head to head with Konoha's smartest ninja for the answer...a little persuasion is in order.


Kiba/Shikamaru

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! But I wish I did! XDXD

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The Age Old Question

"Ok, I've got another question." Kiba announced. Shikamaru cocked his head at the dog boy, quirking a brow. Kiba grinned, exposing fangs.

"If you can answer this, I'll admit you're the smartest person I know." Kiba said. Shikamaru glared at him.

"I already am." Shikamaru retorted sharply. Kiba snickered, sitting up, rolling onto his side and resting the side of his head on an open palm. Shikamaru gave him a wary glance and gave him a nod.

"Ok, so...say you have sex with your clone," Kiba started biting down a laugh at the 'what the fuck?!' expression on Shikamaru's face, "Is that masturbation? Or incest?" Kiba was half and half on this question. Half of him was truly curious. The other half knew he was only doing this to watch the emotions flicker across Shikamaru's face. The lazy nin cocked his head, obviously intrigued by the question, and yet, slightly repulsed.

"Well...technically because the person IS you, I would consider it more a masturbation thing." Shikamaru answered after a long moment.

"But here's the thing genius," Kiba prodded, "IT isn't you. It's just...a being that was created in your liking." Shikamaru glared at Kiba.

"No. It was created FROM you, thus it IS you. Masturbation is a more suitable answer." Shikamaru growled, looking back up to the sky. The clouds offered little escape as Kiba started talking again. Shikamaru groaned, irritated.

"Well if it IS you, but at the same it's not, wouldn't incest be a more likely answer?" Kiba asked, his fingers brushing a loose strand out of Shikamaru's face. Shikamaru jerked away, a bit surprised, but said nothing.

"Can we drop this?" Shikamaru asked, annoyed at the dog boy's persistence. Kiba frowned, lying on his back again. An awkward silence settled around them.

"But seriously, if it is you, but it isn't, wouldn't it make it closer to incest?" Kiba asked again. Shikamaru bit back a curse and rolled onto his stomach, resting his chin on his arms. He glanced sideways at Kiba.

"That makes sense, but because the person was created to BE you, the masturbation idea works better." Shikamaru replied, closing his eyes.

"Have you done research on this or something? Made a clone of yourself and had sex with it? " Kiba asked suddenly. Shikamaru's lids snapped open, eyes round with shock.

"Excuse me?"

"If you didn't hear me you wouldn't look so surprised. Besides you sound like you've taken time to study it. Sound so sure." Kiba snapped.

"What sick interest makes you think, if I EVER created a double of myself, that I would have SEX with it?!" Shikamaru panicked. Kiba shrugged, staring up at the blue sky.

"I'm not stupid you know. Tsunade gives you those private matters to take care of. How am I not supposed to get suspicious?"

"I'm and ANBU for Christ's sake! Things are supposed to be private!" Shikamaru hissed. Kiba looked over at him.

"You're getting really worked up over a question so small." Kiba pointed out. Shikamaru glared at him and looked away.

"I DON'T work with clones, and I most certainly do NOT have sex with people who look like me."

"Or created to look like you." Kiba intervened. Shikamaru shot him a look.

"I'm an ANBU. Strange things happen and you have to be ready with answers."

"So you HAVE done research on this!" Kiba sat up next to him, eyes alight.

"No. I just answer your questions in hopes you'll shut up." Shikamaru huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Kiba raised his eyebrows looking slightly disappointed.

"So you haven't?"

"No."

"Alright then. That's all I needed to hear."

"Fine. Now leave me alone...either that or shut up." Shikamaru growled, lying back down. Kiba sat up for a moment, deciding and then lay down. He gave the lazy nin a toothy smile. Shikamaru glowered at him and closed his eyes.

"You know..."

"I said shut up."

"I was wondering..."

"Do you EVER take a hint?"

"No. Now, I have a question."

"No."

"Just one more."

"I said no."

"Please?"

"..."

"Cool. Just one question and after that, there won't be any talking, I can promise you that."

"Fine. Shoot."

"Do you know the real way to shut me up?" Kiba asked. Shikamaru cracked open one eye and studied the dog boy. He shrugged.

"Find a stick and play fetch in hopes the person will toss far enough you won't come back?" Shikamaru mocked with a grin. Kiba scowled darkly.

"No."

"Then no."

"Let me show you." Before Shikamaru could protest, Kiba had straddled his waist, lips crushed to the lazy boy beneath him. Shikamaru gave a muffled "mmph" of surprise and shoved at the larger boy in defiance. Kiba leaned back.

"See. I don't make any noise when I'm doing that," Kiba pointed out, "But you sure do. And you fuss."

"Get off me!" Shikamaru ordered, his face turning a bright pink. Never, even in his adventures as being an ANBU, had he ever felt so vulnerable and taken advantage of. He had been caught completely off guard, and had this been a mission, Tsunade would never get off his ass. Kiba smirked.

"Nah. So hold still." Kiba crushed his lips to Shikamaru's again, ignoring the protests from the other boy. Hands fluttered down the Nara's side, fingers tugging at the hem of Shikamaru's shirt, palms meeting skin. Shikamaru gasped as Kiba took advantage and nearly shoved his tongue down the lazy nin's throat.

Hands disappeared beneath the thin fabric, fingers exploring a well-sculpted torso. Shikamaru's breath hitched as one of Kiba's fingers ran across his nipples. He was soon surprised to find himself arching into the dog boy's touch, his tongue fighting for the dominance he knew he wouldn't get.

When the need for air became to great, Kiba pulled away, sucking in luxuriously. Shikamaru's head was spinning.

"Oh...wow..." Was all he could gasp out as he waited for the Earth to stop whirling. Kiba ;laughed, biting his earlobe.

"Told you this keeps me quiet."

"You sure have odd questions." Shikamaru chuckled as Kiba placed a chaste kiss at the hollow beneath his ear.

"They lead to weirder...things." Kiba teased, making Shikamaru jump as his tongue traced the lazy nin's collar-bone.

"I can agree with that."

"Then I suppose you could agree with the clone question being incest and NOT masturbation?" Kiba asked, finger tugging at Shikamaru's belt loops. Shikamaru groaned, although not from pleasure.

"Can we PLEASE drop that?" Shikamaru argued. Kiba shook his head, sucking hard at the Shikamaru's neck.

"No because I intend to get you so out of it that you'll HAVE to agree with me...among beg for other things." Kiba smirked as a pale hand disappeared inside Shikamaru's pants. Shikamaru growled in protest, but said nothing for a while.

"Y-you're...on." Shikamaru gasped as Kiba's fingers skillfully played everywhere except where he needed it most. He was fighting to keep concentration.

"By the end of this, we'll figure out the answer to that age old question...and I can say we'll BOTH be satisfied with the answer."


End file.
